Lift Up

We are very excited to share a new cover song with you. It's called Eyes to the Sky by Joseph. After listening to it, you might get why we chose this song. It seems apt, given the current state of things. We wanted to help cheer everyone up, at least a little. Every time I hear it, it lifts me up, reminds me not to let myself drown in my own despair. Even when, especially when, things feel overwhelming. Like now. Many people are overwhelmed by all the goings on. I can't say I'm unaffected by it all, I'm too empathetic to not be bothered by suffering, whether it's one person or thousands. But I'm still much more concerned with Sebastian than anything else. I don't have the emotional or physical energy to get overly engrossed in the rest of the world right now. I don't even care if that sounds selfish because I know it's OK. This is one of those moments in life that I am allowed to be selfish.

I'm trying to be here, in this moment. To lean into this pain and not run away from it. To learn from it and let the experience strengthen me. But fuck, it's hard. It's a lot easier to push it away and try to not think about it. To be angry at the universe/fate/god/what-the-fuck-ever, for bringing this shit into existence. I am not religious nor do I believe in any traditional idea of god. I almost wish I did because then at least I would have someone to blame, somewhere to direct my anger. But I don't. There is no god to blame, no devil, no boogeyman. There's just life and death, joy and suffering, light and dark. There's always an opposite trying to balance out everything. So no matter how upset I feel over the injustice of it all, I remember that there is hope and love in the world as well.

So when I listen to or sing this song, I think of lifting myself up. Of lifting you up. Of helping you and me rid ourselves of our despair and instead turn to hope and love. To embrace this life for all it is and all it's trying to teach us, especially in the worst moments. What I am learning from this experience is a reminder that while I don't have faith in any god, I do have faith in people. I have a strong belief in the inextricable power of human connection. You could call that connection "god" if you want to, but to me, it's nothing more or less than love. All my belief and faith comes from the love all the wonderful people in life have shown me, especially recently. Through your kind words, thoughts, prayers, and energy. Through your willingness to help. Through your ability to listen or read this or hug me while I cry.

I also have faith in all the doctors and nurses...that they are and will continue to do their damn best for Sebastian. I have faith that no matter what happens, Sebastian will continue to live a full and happy life. That NF will never bring us something we can't handle, because we have all of these wonderful people in our lives willing to help us through. We really are all in this together, even when we're alone.

From the deepest part of my heart to yours, thank you.

Hugs and Love,